Brody (The Bang Shift Book 1) Page 19

  Brody chuckled as he stepped over to the bathtub, and she tried to fight the heat creeping up her throat from her shocked outburst. He gently placed her in the hot water and turned on the jets. Reaching past her, he grabbed a washcloth and some soap, which reminded her of an outdoorsy scent. It didn’t really smell like Brody, but it was definitely not a girlie fragrance. He lathered up and then started washing her.

  Her head fell back, eyes closing. This was heavenly. Pure ecstasy. She groaned when he massaged the shoulder closest to him, rubbing harder than necessary for just washing her. Not that she was complaining.

  “If you come over to my house every night and do this, I’d be at your mercy.”

  “Hmm, I think that can be arranged.”

  Xan opened an eye, glancing at him without turning her head. He was concentrating on her bath-massage, working her tight muscles and washing her skin, but even with him touching her like this, he still felt too far away from her.

  “You should join me. I could return the favor.”

  He looked at her and gave his head a quick shake before continuing with his sinfully delightful ministration.

  “Why not?”

  “This is for you,” he said, keeping his eyes on his task.

  “Then you should get in because that’s what I want.” She stuck out her lip with a fake pout, and he smiled crookedly at her.

  “You don’t play fair?”

  “What gave that away? The fact that I showed up here half naked?” She winked, and a chuckle slipped out of him before he could stop it.

  “Okay. You win.”

  Brody stood and removed his pants. His shirt had disappeared a long time ago. She scooted forward when he stood straight and stepped back over to the tub. She turned her head, watching as he stepped in behind her, trying not to smile when he winced while settling in.

  “Jesus, it’s hot.”

  “You’re the one who ran the water.” She giggled as she leaned into his chest. “Don’t be a crybaby.”

  “Crybaby?” he murmured, picking up the cloth and washing one breast as he kneaded the other one with his free hand. He bent his head down to her ear and nuzzled it. “I’ll show you crybaby.”

  He gave her nipple a sharp tweak and she cried out. “And to think you said that I didn’t play fair. That’s cheating.” He laughed as he soothed the pain, rolling her nipple between his fingers. The pain quickly turned into a pleasure she couldn’t hide. With a soft moan, her head rested on his shoulder, her knees falling slightly apart. Brody dropped the cloth and gave her other nipple the same attention. The dual assault was too much to take, so she writhed in the water, her motion causing more waves within the jetted bliss.

  He nipped her ear, his breath coming hot and hard against her skin, and her hips kept churning, seeking contact with something, anything. She backed up against him and he shifted down into the water so that his body was at more of an angle. Her buttocks rubbed his erection and he growled into the ear he was ravishing. She rose, leaning all her weight against him, and grabbed his cock from between her legs.

  “Oh God, Xan,” Brody groaned as she stroked him. But it still wasn’t enough. His mouth was on her flesh. His hands were on her breasts, and he was rocking that hard-as-steel cock in her hands, but she needed so much more. She moved and angled his cock at her entrance. She had to have him. Again. “Baby, it’ll hurt you in the water. Give me a sec, and I’ll—”

  She didn’t wait. She leaned forward and took his cock inside her halfway. It registered somewhere in the back of her lust-filled brain that he was right—his cock didn’t slide in easily. She didn’t have time to process that even if she could break through the passionate fog that consumed her because Brody’s breath caught, and he snaked one arm around her belly as he hoisted them out of the water and onto the ledge of the tub. He propped himself against the corner of the wall, his feet still in the water, and she sank all the way down, taking him to the hilt.

  He clutched her hips as she rode him reverse-cowgirl style. If she wasn’t so turned-on, she’d find the whole cowgirl concept funny considering her previous dislike for all things country. But she was already close to coming so that thought fled as soon as it entered. She braced her hands on his knees and she bounced on his dick with greedy abandon, grinding against him. His panting echoed off the tiled walls, and she could tell that he was close too. He shot up, pressing his chest against her back, wrapping an arm around her, while the fingers of his free hand sought her clit. “You feel so good, baby. So fucking good.”

  He thrust up, meeting her on each downward stroke while he fingered her aching nub. Her orgasm built. Tingles licked her spine and she knew it was over.

  “Brody,” she panted, reaching back and grabbing his neck. “I’m gonna come.”

  “Yes, baby. Ahhh, fuck!” He slammed up again and she screamed. Explosions of colors, lights danced before her eyes as she continued to ride him, ride out her climax, ride out his joint release. Wrapped up in passion so strong, she trembled.

  She was so relaxed she was vaguely aware of him lowering them back into the tub, him crooning softly in her ear. While she was curled into his body, fighting unconsciousness, he washed them both quickly, but thoroughly. Then he shut off the jets, pulled the plug, and dragged them from the bathtub. He dried them both and carried her to his bed.

  He eased in beside her, pulling her into his arms, gently tracing lazy patterns along her hip, and she realized she’d never felt this protected. This loved. Brody may not be in love with her, but she couldn’t deny the fact she was in love with him. She wasn’t sure when it had happened. Maybe that first time she saw him at the garage when her body had recognized his importance to her before her brain had. Or maybe it was the first time they’d kissed and she’d never felt that kind of desire from another man. Or maybe it was the first time they’d made love, which was why it’d hurt her so much when he’d immediately rejected her. She didn’t know when she crossed the point of no return with Brody Jackson. She just knew she had.

  It didn’t matter if Brody would ever feel the same way about her. She learned the hard way there were no guarantees in life, but she wanted to make the most of their time together.

  And she wanted to lift the cloud that’d settled over him during the last week or so. She didn’t know what was bothering him, but she wanted to help him.

  That was what people did for those they loved.

  She rolled over, startling him, catching him lost in his own thoughts.

  “I thought you were out,” he murmured.

  “Almost. You wore me out.”

  He smiled and her heart melted. His long hair unbound, fanning over his shoulders, made her want to run her fingers through it just to feel him, soothe him. “I’ll take that as a compliment, darlin’.”

  “You should.” And she couldn’t help it—she smiled back. “So tell me something about you?”

  And just like that, his smile disappeared, and those storm clouds rolled into his eyes. She hated to see his happy and relaxed demeanor change, but she wanted to help him with whatever was bothering him. And she had to start by getting to know him better.

  “What do you want to know?” he hedged, and she didn’t like the fact he was guarded.

  She reached up and stroked his cheek and gently brought his head down to hers, kissing him lightly. He didn’t respond right away, but he couldn’t resist her for long. No matter his reasons for his recent avoidance, he still wanted her. He kissed her back but let her control it. When she pulled away he grunted and she smiled, loving that his need was so transparent where she was concerned. “Where did you grow up?” She figured she’d start with something easy and continued stroking his cheek, encouraging him to answer.

  He sighed, shutting his eyes and giving his head an infinitesimal shake. Okay, maybe that wasn’t an easy question to start with, but when he opened his eyes and gave her a sad smile, she knew he was going to answer.

  “I don’t know.”

 
; “What do you mean?”

  He shifted, bringing her closer to him. He cupped her hand against his face, holding it to his cheek. “I mean I was in a bad accident many years ago and don’t remember anything that happened before then.”

  “Oh.” Wow. He really didn’t know where he’d grown up. “How long ago was that?”

  “Um, I’m guessing around thirteen years. My early memories are vague. I just remember bits and pieces of being in a hospital. I know it wasn’t more than thirteen years ago because that was when that hospital opened.”

  “What happened?”

  “Not really sure. I was told it was an accident, assuming it was a hit-and-run, but there were no vehicles. Colonel, my boss, found me and helped me out, then gave me a job once I was able to work.”

  “And you like working for him?”

  He smiled. “Yeah. It’s cool. I’m good with cars and stuff, so I figured I at least tinkered around with them before my accident.”

  “You seem to get along well with the other guys.”

  “Blade and me are tight. Bear’s a good guy. Helps a lot, but doesn’t take any shit from anybody. Hunter grew up around here and moved back after something went down. I think he’s here licking his wounds or somethin’. Roc is an ass—”

  “That’s the one who told me about you and Mimi.”

  Brody’s eyes narrowed. “I know. We sorta got into it. I’d whip his ass if it wouldn’t cost me my job. Hell, I just might do it anyway if he pisses me off again.” He sighed, shifting and bringing her closer. “Anyway, Gauge’s the newbie. None of us are itchin’ to trust people, so he’s still kind of an outsider where the other guys are concerned. But I ain’t got any problems with him, and he’s been helping me… Er, I mean, he’s helpful, eager to be a team player, so I cut him some slack.”

  This was good. Brody was opening up to her. Of course, he wasn’t spilling anything heavy yet. But it was a start. She liked the casual chitchat, especially doing it naked in bed, but she had an objective here, and she needed to get to it. “You wanna tell me what happened? Why you started avoiding me again all of a sudden?” She posed her questions casually, so she couldn’t come off defensive and hinder her shot at an honest response from him.

  He looked at her, and the light in his eyes dimmed. His jaw ticked as he clenched his teeth, but his expression wasn’t one of anger or even avoidance. It was more like shame, and she immediately regretted asking. Sure, she wanted to know his reason, but not if talking about it would cause him more harm than just letting the topic go.

  “I, er, I’m sorry. You’re right, I was avoiding you. But I want you to know it had nothing to do with you.” He leaned up, braced himself on his elbow, and gazed into her eyes. “You are perfect. An angel. And I’m…I’m not. There are things in my past I’m not proud of. I wish I could change them, but I can’t.”

  He looked desolate, so alone, and it didn’t make sense, but she wanted to help ease his pain. It was, after all, the real reason for getting him to open up to her. “We are who we are because of the things we went through.”

  “You have no idea, Xan. I’m a monster, a mur—”

  “It doesn’t matter to me what you are.”

  “It should.” He fell back onto the bed, rubbing his eyes. “I have to tell you something, and I’m not even sure how to do it.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Xan got a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, but even the prickling foreboding didn’t stop her from wanting to comfort him. “My ex-husband tried to kill me,” she blurted. She wasn’t sure what she was going to say, but it wasn’t that.

  Brody’s hands fell away from his face as he gaped at her. Great. Now that she’d dropped that little bomb on him, there was no going back.

  “I got married very young. Marco was…” She trailed off, remembering how charming he was to her at the beginning, and smiled at the memory that was a lifetime ago. “I don’t know. He was larger than life.” She pinned Brody with a stare. “And he wanted me. See, my parents died when I was ten. They had me late in life, and my grandparents had died when I was younger. My uncle on my mom’s side was in a nursing home, and my aunt on my father’s side was all I had. She was retired and tried to help me as much as she could, but she had a heart attack a year later. That’s when I entered the system.”

  Brody stroked her arm, and she felt his encouragement through his gentle touch. She took a deep breath, drawing in the strength she needed to continue, inhaling his scent and immediately recognizing the strength he presented. And not physical strength. No, just having him near her seemed to feed her needs, whatever she needed, when she needed it, and right now, she needed that strength. She couldn’t explain, but she relished it, figuring this was normal for someone in love. Well, normal for normal people.

  “I met Marco when I was in high school. He was a few years older. In college, or so he said. After a few years of bouncing from one foster home to the next, being treated by someone like I was the only person in the world who mattered was nice. Really nice.” She stopped to gather her thoughts. This was harder than she thought it was going to be, but she needed to forge ahead. If she wanted an open, honest relationship with Brody, he needed to know everything about her.

  “The fact that he was rich didn’t play into it,” she continued. “I mean, I thought it was cool not having to worry about stretching my money because he bought me all kinds of stuff. But it was the little things, like if I was out of soda and didn’t have time to stop on my way home from my part-time job, I’d find a fresh Dr. Pepper with a rose on the counter when I got home.” Her lips flattened as she thought about how obvious the bad signs were now that she was looking back. “I fell hard and fast and then got knocked up. We married right away.”

  “And then he changed,” Brody said, stating the obvious when Xan didn’t continue.

  “And then he changed.” She nodded. “But it was nowhere near as bad as it was after I’d given birth to a girl. He was pissed.” She chanced a look at Brody, his eyes squinted as he worked his jaw furiously. He was angry for her, and that thought melted her already warmed heart. Yeah, she was head-over-heels in love with this man. “Anyway, he beat me and raped me until I gave up fighting back. It’s weird how someone could see a person and know right away what kind of mood they’re in. I could walk into the same room Marco was in and instantly know if it was going to be a bad day.”

  “Did you try to leave the bastard?”

  “No,” she said quickly. “He’d have killed me.” And then she laughed bitterly. “I knew he’d try to kill me if I ever left on my own, but after I had Scott, I found my ticket out of that hellhole.”

  “Which was?” Brody asked as he stroked Xan’s hair.

  “Evidence against him. You see, he was so filthy rich because he was into organized crime. I found a flash drive containing information on contracts and contacts he’d secured along with some information about some human trafficking job that went to shit. I turned it over to the FBI. But he found out and tried to off me.”

  Brody leaned in and kissed her temple. “He didn’t succeed.”

  “No,” she breathed, snuggling into him. “But the evidence disappeared, so the only thing they had on him was an attempted murder charge. He was convicted, and I was put under protection. But he recently got out, and I think he’ll come after me. Or Scott.” She looked up into Brody’s eyes. “I can’t let him take my baby.” Her voice cracked, and Brody squeezed her to him.

  “That’d never happen. I won’t allow it.” And he said it with such conviction that she almost believed him. Almost.

  She gripped his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin and hitting steel muscle. “You don’t understand. He’ll stop at nothing. Nothing. Until he gets what he wants.”

  “I’ll stop him,” Brody growled. “Consider it already done, baby.” Xan searched his eyes and saw that he truly believed this. She knew it wouldn’t be that simple, but the fact that he cared this much helped soothe her,
making her want to seek more comfort from him. “I don’t want you worrying about this. In fact, this is part of what I tried to tell you earlier. I—”

  “Shhh.” She put two fingers over his mouth. She appreciated his effort to convince her she didn’t have anything to worry about, but she knew better. Talking about it wouldn’t make it go away, and she’d succeeded in opening up to him. More than succeeded. She felt this warm blanket of protection surrounding her from Brody’s words. He couldn’t make Marco disappear, but he could be her moral support, which was more than she’d had outside of the FBI agents assigned to her case. It made her love him even more, want him desperately. “No more talking.” She heard his breath catch as her mouth descended on his.

  Brody knew he should push her away and finish this conversation. She’d opened up to him, and by God, he wanted to do the same with her. He wanted to come clean with his past, hell, with his present too, since technically, she was an assignment.

  He knew she’d stopped being an assignment from practically the very beginning, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to bear his soul as she had done. Until there were no secrets between them, they couldn’t be a couple.

  And when she found out the truth, she’d cut his balls off.

  Nope, no hope for them being a couple. So why couldn’t his heart accept what his brain already knew?

  If he was a gentleman who thought with that organ and not his dick, he’d push her away, confess his sins, and await her wrath. But as Xan’s tongue licked the seam of his lips, probing for entry, any logical thought process disintegrated.

  On a groan, he opened for her. Her tongue delved into his mouth, seeking his, and more of his control slipped. He flipped her, landing on top as he took over the kiss, his tongue plundering the moist, hot depths of her mouth. She was a fucking drug to him, and there was no detox. She was air for long-submerged lungs. Water for a man dehydrated. She was everything to him, and even though they didn’t have a future together, he’d love her forever.