Brody (The Bang Shift Book 1) Read online

  But he had to learn because her safety was the most important thing. If she had to cut him loose to ensure she’d live, then he’d do it. He’d sacrifice anything for her, including his own happiness.

  He drove by her house again. Yeah, he’d done it about a million times over the past week, but he didn’t care. It wasn’t as if he was stalking her. He had to make sure she was safe. And they’d still spent time together, but not only was she keeping her distance, she was still medicated too. So Brody hadn’t crowded her, but God, it was hard not fawning all over her every second of every day, knowing those days were numbered.

  He slowed as he neared her house. Then his heart slammed in his chest, the beat double-timing it. She was sitting on the porch stairs, looking up at the sky. The sight of her would’ve taken his breath away if he wasn’t immediately worried about her. Why the hell was she sitting outside? It was after midnight.

  He pulled into her driveway, figuring it was best not to pretend he hadn’t been driving by. As he shut off the engine, their eyes locked, and he flashed a smile at her before looking away to climb out. He walked around his truck, heading toward her, hoping his damn heart would slow down anytime now.

  “Busted,” he acknowledged with a casual shrug.

  “You’ve been doing that a lot.”

  Oh shit. Maybe he should’ve saved the drive-bys for well after midnight. “Just making sure you’re safe,” he said as he sat beside her. He let his hand fall to her knee and gave it a gentle squeeze before leaning in and kissing her quickly on the mouth. Even though that was as far as they’d gone in the physical department since her ordeal, Brody still loved the feel of her lips on his, no matter how brief it was. “Whatcha doin’ out here?”

  “Thinking. Scott’s PO’d that we have to move. Jack says they should have a house ready for us next week.”

  “And new identities.” He didn’t ask. He just said what it seemed she couldn’t.

  “Yeah,” she breathed.

  He tried to keep everything light, but God, he’d missed being alone with her. Almost every other time he’d been around her, Scott was near. “I’m going to miss you like crazy, baby,” he whispered, leaning down and nuzzling her hair, her ear. Vanilla.

  Her breath caught and she turned into him. He didn’t know how much longer she’d allow him this intimacy because, if her recent track record was any indication, she’d be pulling away any second now. Oh, he could tell she wanted him. That had never stopped, but she was trying to save them both the heartache that was inevitable. He knew this little vixen better than she knew herself.

  “I’m going to miss you too.”

  He sighed when she eased a little closer, her hand rubbing the length of his arm. Without thinking, he let his lips trace down her cheek to find her mouth again. This time, he nudged her lips once, twice, and licked the plump seam. He wanted to shout when she opened for him. His tongue dove into the warm cavern as his hands fisted in her hair. Oh, how he missed the taste of her.

  He devoured her, leaving no crevice of her mouth untouched. His cock was throbbing against the zipper of his jeans, begging to be released. If he wasn’t careful, he’d pull her down on this porch and fuck her right here. Shit. She was still recovering and he was practically attacking her like some horny animal. He broke away, panting. “I-I’m sorry. How are you feeling, baby?” That should’ve been the first damn thing he asked her when he walked up. He was such a selfish jerk.

  “I was feeling just fine, but now I’m feeling deserted.” She pouted playfully and his guilt vanished. She’d wanted him too. Probably ached for him as he had for her.

  He leaned toward her again, brushing his lips against her neck. “We can’t have that now, can we?”

  Her head fell back on a gasp. “Uh-uh.”

  He kissed and nipped his way up her slim neck to her ear. “Is Scott home?” he asked as he nibbled on her lobe.

  “No. Ditched me to stay at Chad’s.”

  “Remind me to thank him later.” Then Brody abruptly stood and lifted Xan into his arms.

  “B-Brody. This doesn’t mean—”

  “Shh.” He swooped in and kissed her lightly as he carried her into the house. “All I want to think about is tonight. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Tonight.” He kept walking down the hall and into her bedroom.

  “Tonight,” she whispered, and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss.

  He greedily obliged, sealing his lips with hers. He hungered for her like a man starved, and he knew he’d never feel this way about another woman ever again. Xan was his one and only true love. He’d had a hard time swallowing all the stories Colonel had told him about his past over the years, and the one Xan had told him—about how he’d been in love with her all those years ago—had felt right. He wished he could remember being in love with her before, but loving her now made believing easy.

  He gently lowered her to her feet beside the bed, kissing the side of her neck, licking along her collarbone He traced a path from one shoulder to the other, trying to memorize the tantalizing skin exposed from her low-cut shirt. Kissing his way down her chest, he stopped once he reached the cloth barrier, and hastily grabbed the hem, pulling it free from her body.

  If he didn’t slow down, he’d rush right through this, not relishing what may very well be their last time together. His heart dropped at that thought, so he stepped back, taking her in. God, she was beautiful.

  “So beautiful,” he breathed, stroking her cheek with the back of his hand.

  “Brody.” Her voice trembled, but she reached for him, caressing his chest through his worn gray t-shirt. His belly jumped at her touch as her hand lowered, and his cock strained against its denim cage. She pulled his shirt out from his jeans and pushed it up, leaving it gathered under his arms. Then she leaned in and kissed his bellybutton, and oh shit, that felt good. He groaned, swaying toward her, clutching her arms in case his knees buckled.

  When she reached for his belt buckle, Brody yanked his shirt completely off. Then slid his hands down her back to unclasp the black lacy bra she had on. When her breasts fell free, he cupped them, feeling their heavy weight, tugging on her taut nipples. She moaned, and her hands briefly hesitated on his zipper. So he rolled her nipples again, loving the way her back arched as she pushed her breasts harder into his hands.

  Once she got his zipper down, he reached for her pants, quickly removing them and her soaked panties before stepping out of his own jeans.

  He stood before her bare—emotionally and physically. This little hellion stepped into his life and claimed it, claimed him, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

  He reached for her, knowing his eyes were raw with his feelings, pulled her down onto the cool sheets, and kissed her. Everywhere. From her temple to her toes, he left no inch untouched, but he saved her pussy for last.

  When he hovered over that sweet spot, he breathed in the musky vanilla scent of her and moaned.

  “Please, Brody,” she begged as her hips writhed beneath him, so he clasped her thighs, spreading her wider. Then he finally licked her tentatively along the seam. She gasped, trying to get closer, her honey dripping from her core. God, he was trying to savor her, but all he wanted to do was dive in and devour her in such a way that her taste would be branded on him. When she whimpered, the decision was made. He leaned in and licked her from her ass to her clit. And then he did devour her, licking, nipping, kissing her, as he stabbed two fingers inside her, reveling in how tight she was.

  She was moaning, panting as she tugged on his hair, guiding him to that sweet little clit, and he greedily followed, sucking it into his mouth as he batted it with his tongue and fucked her with his fingers. She screamed, her back arching off the bed, and he continued his ministrations, wringing every last spasm out of her. When she finally collapsed, boneless, he crawled up her body, kissing her tummy, her breasts, lingering a little while before continuing up to her mouth. He lifted her knee, hooking it on his hip, and thrust into h
er with one powerful move. He groaned. She trembled, reaching for him and pulling him to her.

  He made love to her like that, holding her knee as he plunged into her, murmuring against her lips. He wasn’t sure what he was saying or if it even made any sense. All he could think was don’t leave me.

  “I love you,” he breathed, then took her mouth in a searing kiss. He didn’t give her an opportunity to say those words back to him because he didn’t want to be disappointed when she didn’t. Xan was leaving, and she was distancing herself from him. If that was what she needed to do to help her through this, then he’d allow that. But nothing would ever change how he felt about her.

  He grabbed her hips, angling her so he could take her deeper, harder. Fuck, he was close. He could feel his balls getting tighter as he pounded into her, her cries cheering him on.

  Then she pushed against his shoulders, startling him. “Xan?” he panted.

  She didn’t answer, only pushed him over and straddled him. “Fuck, baby.” She started riding him hard and he was in heaven.

  He grabbed her hips, bent his knees, and thrust up into her each time she came down. Her breasts shook, calling him, so he answered. He sat up and drew one nipple into his mouth, leaving his hands on her hips to help guide her as she led them both to ecstasy. She cried out, her pussy milking him, and his mouth tore away from her breast on a roar as he came with her.

  When they both drifted back down from the euphoria of their love-making, he’d realized that he’d wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly to him, and she’d done the same, her head buried in the crook of his neck. A slight hitch in her breathing gave away the fact she was trying not to cry, and that crushed him.

  She didn’t want to leave just like he didn’t want her to. But they didn’t have a choice. Sometimes, life was just fucked-up.

  He spent the night in her arms, wondering how he’d go back to the life he had before she’d driven into this town. Well, technically, he’d towed her into this town, but the effect was the same. He loved her, would always love and worry for her. As she lay in his arms, breathing softly in her sleep, he thought about the first day they’d met, and he knew he wanted to do something special for her before she left. Just a little something to show how much he loved her and cared about her safety.

  Because all he really wanted to do was keep her.

  And he’d have to let her go.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Xan was miserable. She’d been packing the last several days so she’d be ready when Jack came calling to tear this life away from her. And she hadn’t gotten much help out of Scott either. Oh, he’d packed a little. Very little. He dragged his feet around as if he was waiting to be put on death row or something. He knew the drill.

  Maybe that was his problem. She knew the drill, too. Knew that this would be a never-ending cycle for them. So she hadn’t bitched at him to hurry up. His days were numbered here, and he wanted to spend them hanging out with Chad and Malorie. And she totally understood that because she’d love nothing more than to spend every waking and sleeping moment molded to Brody.

  She was in love with him, and she couldn’t even tell him. She’d had so many opportunities, but she’d hoped if she didn’t spill her feelings, maybe Brody would move on after she was gone. She knew she would never move on, but she realized that loving someone meant you wanted what was best for them. And she didn’t want Brody pining away for her. So she’d kept him at arm’s length from her. Just far enough away to build up walls, but just close enough to pull him back every now and then. She wasn’t trying to toy with him. She really wasn’t, but letting someone go was tough. And she was hurting.

  Groaning at the reality of her life, she grabbed more packing tape and stood from where she’d been sitting on the floor, going through a few knickknacks, and headed to the kitchen for some water. She heard a car pulling into her driveway and what sounded like a couple of trucks. “What the hell?” she muttered. She put the packing tape on the counter, walked into the living room, then peeked through the blinds. She saw Brody, and her heart did a little flip-flop. God, she loved it when he left his hair down.

  She nervously smoothed her own hair and blew into her hand, testing her breath, before opening the door and walking out. She frowned when she saw Bear’s truck parked behind Brody’s truck and noticed someone else parked on the other side of his truck. Bear waved as he climbed into the passenger seat and noticed Blade sitting on the passenger side. He wiggled his fingers and winked at her as Bear backed out and drove off.

  “Where’re they going?” Xan asked as she walked over to Brody.

  “Blade drove my truck over here.” He took her hand and tugged, pulling her along with him. “I have something for you.”

  When they rounded the front end of Brody’s truck, Xan gasped as she stared at the brand new Honda Accord. “What’s this?” she asked, knowing how stupid the question sounded, but not knowing what else to say.

  “Your new Bertha.”

  She looked up at him, too shocked to speak.

  “You once told me that if you could have any car you wanted, you’d pick an Accord. Well, I hate the idea of you driving around in that piece of shit.” He took a deep breath, briefly shutting his eyes. “And if I’m not going to be around to fix it for you, I want you to have something dependable.”

  This was the nicest, most generous thing anybody had ever done for her. Ever. And she felt her throat tightening, her eyes itching, as she looked up at him. “Brody.” Her voice cracked, so she covered her mouth, trying to stifle the sob that was building. “I-I can’t accept this.”

  “Shh.” He stepped up to her, rubbing her back. “Don’t cry, baby. I’ve been teetering on my own feelings these last couple of weeks.” He chuckled, making light of his words, but he squeezed her tighter to him, betraying his true feelings. “You need a new car. I’m not taking it back. Besides, I got it on sale, so I can’t take it back even if I wanted to.”

  She tried to control the hitching in her breath. She really did. But as she tried swallowing back her tears, the sobs built and rushed from her. She broke down, holding on to him, crying her broken heart out.

  “I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave you. I-I love you, Brody. I love you so much, and I can’t stand the idea of never seeing you again.”

  “Oh, baby,” he breathed, holding her, rocking her. “I love you too.”

  “Maybe, maybe, we can work something out?” She didn’t care if she sounded as needy as she felt.

  He pulled away from her, gently rubbing his thumbs along her cheeks, wiping away her tears. “You don’t know how happy I am to hear that.”

  “What I want doesn’t matter, though. I have to leave.”

  He brushed her hair off her cheek. “I talked to Gauge yesterday, and after he made a bunch of calls, he was finally able to do just that. Now the big dogs over there aren’t happy about this alternative and will strongly suggest you not go along with it, but the only people here who know he was undercover are the guys at the shop. The feds have reluctantly agreed to keep him here if you insist on staying. Once he convinced them that it was a genuine possibility and they bitched about how fucking dangerous this is for you, they really didn’t have any other choice but to keep Gauge here, especially since I’m the one who actually pulled the trigger, and Collins’ father might come sniffing around. Gauge will be working with Jack Parsons to coordinate your safety.”

  Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. “I-I don’t know what to say.” She shook her head trying to process this.

  “Now listen, baby. They said it’ll be really dangerous if you decide to do this because you’d have to move to another location and pretend as if you weren’t under their protection anymore. All other agents who worked the case would also be under that impression. Gauge will go deep cover. Everyone except those I mentioned already and a select few will think he’s decided to quit.”

  “You mean I, Scott, we get to stay here?”

&nb
sp; He smiled crookedly at her, leaning down to brush his lips against her. “Well, not here.” He pointed to her house. “You’ll have to move in with me. You know, for protection and all.”

  Move in with Brody? Oh, she could definitely do that. “Why didn’t you just come right out and tell me I could stay?” She tried to sound irritated, but failed miserably. She was too damn excited.

  “I didn’t want to presume anything.” He shook his head as if he hated thinking that way. “Come look at your new car, baby.” He pulled her behind him, acting like a kid on Christmas.

  “If I’m staying, I don’t need the car,” she said jokingly.

  He looked back at her, frowning. “I bought it before talking to Gauge, and I told you, I’m not taking it back.”

  She felt light, free, excited about this wonderful turn of events, and she practically bounced behind him as he opened the driver side door for her. She slid into her new car, grinning wildly, and took a deep breath to inhale the new-car smell that had evaded her for too many years.

  Her nose wrinkled. “What’s that… Is that vanilla?”

  Brody shrugged innocently before swooping down and kissing her hard.

  No more moving? Getting to live her life with the man she loved? Yeah, her life was definitely looking up.

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