Surrounded by Pleasure Read online

  “Jesus, I’m sorry.” He wanted to rub her arms, comfort her, but he wasn’t worthy of touching her.

  She turned around and stared at him, dumbfounded. He took several more steps back and tripped over his feet to get away from her. He saw his robe out of the corner of his eye and grabbed it as he ran from the cabin.

  He frantically thought back to their conversation. He’d given her an opportunity to leave. She’d said she wanted it. But was he too demanding? Too forceful? Oh God, what was the difference between that and rape?

  He was going to be sick.

  * * * *

  Krista had cried herself to sleep. Her conversation with Toby hadn’t gone as planned. Nope, not at all. She’d decided to keep up with the boyfriend ruse, but when she’d reminded him of that, the look in his eyes almost made her come clean. He’d looked so devastated, so crushed. Then she’d seen the possessive need in his eyes. The need to assert himself as the alpha male in her life. She knew in that moment he always would be, and all the indecision regarding his little family secret suddenly seemed less important. She’d had a decision to make then and there. Either walk away or let him prove his dominance. She knew she had to walk away eventually, but she wasn’t ready to live without him now, knowing when she did have to leave, he’d always have her heart. She loved him, and if she could’ve done anything to help him understand he was her only alpha, then she would’ve done it. She’d taken the first step by undressing and teasing him, lulling him, all the while easing herself into submission.

  And he’d given her a mind-blowing orgasm with unbelievable sex. God, she’d never get used to the fireworks she felt when he touched her. And immediately afterward, she felt as if it’d worked, but then something changed. He’d panicked for some reason and left her alone.

  She was left confused and upset that she’d made the wrong decision yet again. Nothing seemed to be going right, and to top it all off, she’d started her period.

  After tossing and turning into the night while she’d cried—sheepishly putting some of the blame of her emotional state on it being that time of the month—she’d finally fallen into a restless sleep.

  She wasn’t sure how much later it was when she felt soft lips kissing her tear-streaked cheek.

  “I’m so sorry, baby,” she heard over and over as trembling hands circled her body. She tried to turn over and look at Toby, but his grip tightened. She felt his shoulders shake and his breath hitch as he kissed her hair. After several minutes he loosened his grip and started to ease away. “Oh, God, you probably don’t want me touching you. I-I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I mean, I know you’re not,” he sniffled, “but I needed to man up and face what—”

  She turned then, looking at his red eyes. What the hell was he talking about? “Toby, I’m fine, sweetheart.”

  “I had no right—”

  She chuckled, and he looked at her incredulously. “I told you I wanted it.”

  “But I, er, hurt you.” He looked down, not meeting her eyes.

  “I am a little sore. I mean you’re huge and all, but I’ll live.” She shrugged, not understanding where this was going.

  “But you were bleeding.”

  Realization dawned on her. Had he thought he’d forced himself on her? She reached over and gently tugged his chin up, making him look at her. “I started my period, Toby.”

  His eyes got fractionally bigger for only a second or two, but then he gave her a sad smile and shrugged one shoulder. “Doesn’t matter. I was way out of line. I’ll leave you alone now. I-I just wanted to check on you.”

  She grabbed his arm as he started to get out of their bed—she’d thought of it as their bed for a while now. “I don’t want you to go.”

  “I don’t deserve to be near you right now. I don’t deserve to be near you at all.”

  “Don’t you think that should be left up to me to decide?” When he didn’t respond, she sighed. “Please don’t make me beg.”

  He shut his eyes, and the pained expression that crossed his face made her heart ache. “I’ll do whatever you want,” he whispered.

  She pulled the covers to the side. “Take your clothes off and get in.”

  He stared at her for several seconds and then finally started to remove his clothing. In all the time they’d spent together, this was the first she’d ever seen his penis completely flaccid. She’d have her work cut out for her if she wanted to turn his mood around and reclaim the spark between them that had existed before today—or yesterday as it was now the early hours of a new day.

  He climbed in beside her, not touching her. She rolled over and tucked herself against him, but he didn’t wrap his arms around her.

  Oh, yeah, she’d definitely have her work cut out for her.

  Chapter Nine

  Toby still wasn’t himself. Krista hadn’t tried making love to him while she was on her period because even though she was new to the whole sex thing, the idea of that just grossed her out.

  So, while she’d been on her period, she eased Toby back into some of their comfortable routine. He’d started holding her while they slept. He’d hugged her good-bye in the mornings before she set off to work in the office and he on the land. A few times she’d initiated a kiss, and he returned it because he knew it was what she wanted, but he’d immediately look away from her, too ashamed to maintain eye contact. No matter how many times she’d tried reassuring him that he’d only done what she wanted him to do, it never seemed to work.

  A little voice in the back of her mind told her that maybe he was having such a hard time because he wanted to mate with her and knew he couldn’t, that maybe he was fighting his animal side for control. She’d like to believe that because that’d mean he wanted her on an emotional level.

  And yet he was barely touching her. She’d been off her period for days now with no sign of Toby moving their relationship back to the physical level it once was. She’d talked to Mikaela about this, and she’d first told Krista to be patient. But as the days passed, Mikaela was getting antsy on Krista’s behalf and told her she should initiate sex with him.

  Because he’d been treating her with kid gloves, she felt that uncertainty she’d felt in the beginning with him. Only this time, she didn’t feel out of her element turning up the heat. With only two days left before her flight back to St. Louis, Krista had to tamp down her nerves and take back what she wanted.

  After dinner at the main house, she and Toby returned to the cabin. They showered. Separately, with Krista showering first. When she got out and Toby got in, she made sure she put lotion all over her skin and sprayed on some light perfume. She slipped into bed naked, but that wasn’t a big deal because they’d been sleeping in the buff. Not that Toby hadn’t tried a few times coming to bed with pajama pants on, which she’d quickly grumbled about until he removed them.

  When Toby came out of the bathroom, he had his wet hair combed and a towel wrapped firmly about his hips, gripping it in a death grip. Once he got to his side of the bed, he tossed it to the side chair and quickly got in, scooting close to her and casually resting his arm over her waist.

  It was time to make her move.

  She licked her lips, turning around to face him. “G’night,” she murmured, pressing her lips gently to his. He stiffened—and not in the right place. But he tilted his head and returned the closed-mouth kiss. When he started to pull away, she leaned closer and nudged her parted lips against his mouth. He opened slightly, barely taking her top lip between his lips as she did the same with his bottom lip. When he tried breaking the kiss after the little smooch, she slid her tongue between his slightly parted lips and glided it over his tongue. He moaned softly as his hand rested on her hip.

  But he barely kissed her back and didn’t so much as move his hands from where they touched her.

  Okay, so drastic times called for drastic measures. She ended the kiss and snuggled against him as if she were going to sleep, and he sighed contently as he did the same.

&n
bsp; Then she kissed his chest, and the soft breathing that’d been coming from him stopped. She licked his nipple, then nipped the flat copper disk. He gasped, but stayed still. He had one arm under her head and the other wrapped around her back. When she started kissing a path down his abdomen, his arms locked around her, stilling her journey.

  “What are you doing?” he whispered.

  He might’ve stopped her descent, but he didn’t incapacitate her completely. She bit his belly, then laved the mark as she turned her gaze up to meet his. “I’m going to suck your cock.”

  His swift intake of breath was confirmation she was on the right track. He wanted her, but he’d felt he didn’t deserve her. Total nonsense. Toby was a good man. Krista understood he had a feral side, and she accepted it came with the total package that made up the man she loved. The fact that he’d been resisting her swelled her heart because his heart was in the right place even if his head wasn’t.

  His eyes searched hers, but when he didn’t say anything or loosen his grip, she continued. “Do you not like it when I touch you like that?” She knew he did, but she needed him to confront his demons.

  “I-I.” He cleared his throat, shutting his eyes. “I love it,” he breathed.

  “Me, too.” She went back to kissing his belly and tried to move lower, but his grip held her tightly in place. “Toby, I want this. You want this. Stop fighting it.”

  On a groan he relaxed only marginally, but it was enough to provide her the leeway she needed. She kissed and licked a path to his growing cock—not completely erect, but getting there. Her tongue slipped out and licked the dry head, and not only did his cock jerk, his whole body did. Within seconds he was fully engorged.

  She ran her tongue down his shaft and gently tongued his balls. Toby was tense as he emitted small sounds and fisted the sheet. She smiled as she drew one of his balls into her mouth. Her lover was fighting it. Oh, she’d make sure he gave in. She was up to this challenge. She sucked his sac, drawing in the other, and Toby’s already stiff thighs turned to steel.

  She released his balls and licked up his shaft. Hmm, the head was no longer dry. He’d started leaking already. Toby might have been trying to fight his libido, but his body had different ideas. She sucked the plum-shaped head into her mouth, moaning as the salty taste of him landed on her tongue, and a deep guttural groan rumbled through Toby’s chest.

  Eager for more, she tongued the slit, trying to coax more out of him. God, she missed tasting him like this. It’d been too long since she’d had him in her mouth. She forgot about her seduction and lost herself in the man she loved. She engulfed him, sucking him to the root, and his hips shot off the bed. She sucked him hard as she reached down with one hand to play with his balls while using the other to stroke him with a rhythm that complemented her oral assault.

  She didn’t let up. She sucked, licked, and nipped at his cock as it throbbed in her mouth, and the sounds Toby was making were getting louder. As she bobbed on his cock, she felt his hand slip into her hair, and she felt a giddy thrill that he was finally allowing himself to enjoy what was happening. But as soon as his hand touched her head, it was gone, fisting into the sheet again.

  As she worked his cock, Krista considered stopping before he came, forcing him to suffer or fuck her. But she immediately rejected that idea because knowing the Toby of late, he’d take the pain and suffering over pleasure. She quickly thought about her options as she slowed, settling on one that’d get him touching her and hopefully propel him into initiating sex. She moved, letting his cock slip from her mouth, but not straying away. She licked where his leg met his groin and nibbled gently. She heard Toby breathing heavy but felt his body relaxing a little. Did her lover boy think she was finished? Ha!

  She shifted, moving her legs to the other side of him as she licked along his shaft. Then she crawled, backing toward him and slinging her leg over his chest, putting her pussy just above his face. He snatched her thighs as his breath caught, but she took his cock back into her mouth and the breath he released was strangled.

  She sucked him off, her hips undulating, enticing him to taste her. As she rocked above him, she’d worked her way closer to his mouth, his hot breath bathing her core. So close. God, she was so close to experiencing another orgasm from Toby’s ministrations. She ached to feel him again.

  She released his cock and dug her head into his thigh. “Please,” she begged. “Please, Toby. I need you.” She bit his rock-hard thigh, the sexual frustration becoming overwhelming. He hissed and bucked against her, his dick hitting her chin. She started to turn to bring him back into her mouth when she felt his hot, wet tongue on her outer lips. She gasped. “Yes.”

  His hands slid up her thighs and caressed her ass as he pulled her closer. When his tongue buried into her folds, they both groaned.

  Krista took Toby’s cock to the back of her throat and swallowed against him like he’d taught her. He’d been such a patient and skillful lover during her time here, and she’d loved every minute of it. Even if he’d questioned it himself.

  When she swallowed him, he gripped her ass tighter, spreading her cheeks and licking her everywhere. She was on a hair trigger, her orgasm building much faster than she’d anticipated. Oh, God, she couldn’t come first. If she did, he might put a stop to this and not allow himself the same pleasure. She doubled her effort, jacking him off and sucking him with ruthless abandon. She felt him swell inside her mouth and his body tremble beneath hers. He moaned against her, and that sensation damn near sent her flying over the edge. At least he was close because she didn’t know how much longer she’d last.

  He bent his knees and thrust up as he started fucking her mouth while he stabbed his tongue into her pussy. He’d finally let go enough of his unfounded guilt to embrace her fully, if only physically—but it was a vast improvement. Her pussy clenched around his tongue, and he pulled it out and pushed a finger inside her. His lips surrounded her clit, and she knew she was a goner. With the first suck, she exploded, screaming around his cock as she sucked him hard and bucked against his face. The hand holding one of her ass cheeks held her still as he apparently lost himself in giving her pleasure, groaning as he ate her, drawing out her orgasm as long as he could.

  In the back of Krista’s mind she knew she’d feel defeated when she came down off this high because Toby hadn’t come.

  But just as that thought crossed her lust-hazy mind, his thrusts turned frantic just before his hips snapped up and stilled, a loud, agonized groan splitting the air as the first stream of his release shot down her throat.

  She’d been coming down from her own orgasm as Toby reached his, but his taste and mindless ministrations propelled her into another one, her pussy clenching around two fingers now as she drank from him.

  Some long moments later, she slumped against him and he went lax beneath her. He caressed her leg, kissing her inner thigh. Seizing the moment, she turned around to face him.

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  He rested his forehead against hers and held her close. “I’m sorry for everything. How I’ve been acting. For what happened that night—”

  “Shhh.” She shook her head, placing a finger over his lips. “Enough. I’m willing to agree to disagree on that if you’d just let it go. I don’t want to spend the next two days living with this wall between us.”

  He sighed, nodding his head. “I just never expected to fall, er, feel this strongly for you. You deserve to be cherished and coddled, not manhandled.” When she frowned at him he smiled. “Okay, okay. Letting it go now.”

  She smirked. “Good. Then I want you to do something for me.”

  “Name it,” he murmured as he kissed her temple.

  “Make love to me.”

  “Mmm, I think I can handle that.” His lips traced a path to her mouth, taking it with a gentle, but thorough, kiss. And she opened for him, just as she knew she would always do. They kissed and held each other, exploring their mouths with their tongues, their bodie
s with their hands.

  When Toby deepened the kiss, he rolled her beneath him, the weight of his body grounding her as her emotions soared. He settled between her legs and touched her everywhere he could reach as he kissed her jaw, her neck, her shoulder, her breasts.

  When he was hard again and she was writhing beneath him, he pulled away and fumbled with the drawer of his nightstand. He pulled out a condom and rolled it on. Once he was prepared to take her, he kissed her briefly as he shifted into position. Then he pulled back and watched her eyes as his cock pressed into her. He clutched her hands, pulling them beside her head and twining their fingers together, all the while watching her eyes. He was making love to her so tenderly that Krista felt tears burn her eyes, but she quickly blinked them away. She didn’t want him to misunderstand and stop.

  They both groaned once he was fully seated within her, and he only hesitated a few seconds before he started fucking her with long, slow strokes. He pinned her with his heated gaze. They made love this way, watching each other, for what felt like hours, but she had no idea how much time had passed. Everything had blurred away except for the man holding her.

  She’d never felt this close to him before, his feelings so raw in his eyes, and she was sure her emotions were clear to him, too. She wanted to tell him she loved him. It felt right, but she didn’t want to chance ruining this perfect moment. She knew he had feelings for her—he all but confessed that just a while ago—but she also knew she was leaving him. No, she wouldn’t tell him. She’d love him with her heart and her body, but keep the words to herself.

  “You are so beautiful,” he murmured. She groaned, shutting her eyes for the first time as his cock hit her sweet spot inside and raked over the little bundle of nerves. He did it again, and she gasped. “Open your eyes. I wanna watch you come. Please, baby.”